Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
