i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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