to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
