I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
