Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
