i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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