To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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