Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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