and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
