It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
