If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
