I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
