it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I need help removing her.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
