So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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