The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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