i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
