You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
