so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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