but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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