no. you can't hotbox the world.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
