Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
