So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
