Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
