Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
