the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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