Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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