we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize