she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
