Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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