Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
