i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
