I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
