so explain again why im purple
no
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
