she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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