im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
