feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
