It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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