You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
