Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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