umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
