absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize