Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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