I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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