last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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