White coat. Heels.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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