Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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