I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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