ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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