Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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