dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
