What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I need to sanitize my soul.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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