scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
