No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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