I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
