i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
