I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
as a side note pls kill me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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