I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize