After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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