dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
