and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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