so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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