He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My room smells like vodka and shame
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I want to be your penis for a week.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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