she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
