I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
