Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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