i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
