I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
