I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize