Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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