Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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