they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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