Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize