How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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