she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
And then he peed in my hair
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