My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
