I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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