before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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